13

"But falling in love is always a pretty crazy thing. 

It might appear out of the blue and just grab you. 

Who knows—maybe even tomorrow." 

— Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart.

Jadi begini ceritanya.....

Setelah sekian lama (lebih tepatnya sekitar tiga tahun) menjalani pahit dan manisnya kehidupan menyendiri alias single (no, I won't use the word 'jomblo'. Kenapa? Ya gapapa sih, it just a matter of personal choice haha), akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk mulai menjalani sebuah hubungan yang baru dengan seseorang.

So here I am now, in a brand new relationship, dengan seseorang yang dulu pernah menempuh pendidikan SMP yang sama dengan saya. Dulu kami cuman sebatas mengenal lewat OSIS dan ngga kenal akrab juga, istilahnya sih "teman sekedar kenal", yang kalo papasan paling cuman mesem tipis-tipis. Terpisah jarak dan waktu selama bertahun-tahun, ngga pernah berkontak ria apalagi ketemu, entah mengapa pada suatu hari di bulan Oktober ini, tiba-tiba dia mengontak saya lewat LINE. Dan disitulah semua berawal, awalnya agak ngga menyangka kalo ternyata dia orang yang humoris dan menyenangkan, selalu bikin ngakak di setiap chatnya. Padahal seingat saya dulu, dia anaknya pendiam dan terkesan serius. Sampai akhirnya dia mulai memberanikan diri untuk mengajak saya keluar.

Pada saat awal ketemu, saya membayangkan dia akan terlihat jauh berbeda, namun nyatanya tidak. Hanya saja dia jauh lebih tinggi dan terlihat lebih charming (eleuh). Sempat membayangkan juga kalo first meetup ini bakalan super awkward, tapi ternyata ngga se-awkward yang dibayangkan. Deg-deg an pasti, karena ini pertama kalinya saya memberanikan diri untuk mulai membuka hati keluar berdua dengan lawan jenis setelah sekian lamanya. Our first meetup ini ternyata membuka jalan untuk our second meetup, third meetup dan selanjutnya.

Well I didn't know exactly when, but then there it was, the spark, a trace of intense feeling.

Perlahan tapi pasti, semuanya mulai membentuk satu tanda tanya besar dalam benak saya: so this is it?

Selama ini saya mengira saya ngga akan pernah siap, selalu dalam mode 'In Repair' seperti lagunya kang mas John Mayer, karena dari hubungan saya yg sebelumnya meninggalkan banyak pengalaman dan pelajaran yang selama ini saya coba pahami. "Why did it fail? Why did it not work out?" Hal-hal inilah yang terkadang membuat saya ragu, memunculkan banyak 'what if'. Untung, ada sahabat dekat dan mama yang menjadi tempat saya menumpahkan curahan isi hati (eleuh lagi) sehingga membuat saya yakin bahwa saya sudah siap menjalani hubungan yang baru.

Kebetulan saya adalah orang yang sulit untuk percaya, baik mempercayai orang atau mempercayai suatu hal. Tapi entah kenapa, rasanya tidak terlalu sulit bagi saya untuk mulai perlahan membuka diri semenjak mengenal dia. And also, he brings out the best in me, membuat saya berusaha menjadi orang yang lebih baik dari hari ke hari.

So now I'm starting to put my trust and hope in him (and in myself too), that somehow we can make all things work together, for good things work in time and need a lot of efforts too. 

Let's do this together, A ❤

"It was rather beautiful; 

the way he put her insecurities to sleep,

the way he dove into her eyes 

and starved all the fears,

and tastes all the dreams 

she kept coiled beneath her bones."

— Christopher Poindexter.

Twenty Facts About Me

Following the hype of #20factsaboutme challenge these days, and even got tagged by some of my friends in Instagram, I decide to take a part of it. Well these 20 facts are mostly unnecessary, dull and might be tiresome to read as well (duh obviously), but still I'm willing to make a post anyway (see? first fact is revealed, I'm kinda stubborn tho, so please bear with me LOL). Okay, so here's #20factsaboutme :

1. Born as Cintia Larasati on April 3rd 1993. Have several nicknames throughout the years such as Cintia, Kak Tia, Laras, Cipher, Cinto. 

2. As an Aries, mostly I'm straightforward & spontaneous.

3. I'm half Javanese x half Sundanese, but I can't speak both local languages fluently. 

4. I sleep like a log. 

5. Whenever I see cute babies & kids around, I automatically smile from ear-to-ear. 

6. I have two cats, well basically I love animals. That's why I find a man who loves both kids & animals as much as I do is irresistible! 

7. I used to dislike veggies, but now I dare myself to eat it, little-by-little.

8. I have separated compartment in my tummy for sweet treats, especially for ice cream. 

9. Not easily gaining weight even though I eat like a starving pig. 

10. Music is (and will always be) a great thing to deal with; I can't get through a day without listening to music. 

11. Definitely big no to the smell of cigarette smoke. 

12. I dislike anything about k-pop back then in 2011, but it turns out that karma does really exist. 

13. I'm a pro procrastinator, occasionally. 

14. I used to be boyish because I grew up with two little brothers, but now I make an effort to be more lady-like being. 

15. I'm such a timid person when it comes to horror & scary things. 

16. Rarely check on my phone, that's why I (purposely) take quite long to respond to texts or calls. 

17. I have trust issues. Therefore I'm not easily attached to someone. 

18. Insecurity gets the best of me sometimes. I tend to worry about my future. 

19. Some people might think that I'm a bit arrogant, but I'm actually a warm person inside. What you really see is not always what you get. 

20. Would like to travelling or backpacking alone someday.

So, wanna try to unveil yours? ✌️

Yang Tersisihkan

Ternyata emang bener kata kakak angkatan tentang masa-masa skripsi :

 "Semuanya jadi sibuk sendiri, mikirin penelitiannya sendiri."

Yang dulunya kemana-mana bareng, sekarang bisa jadi nggak lagi bareng. Misal nih ya, yang ikutan proyek penelitian A, kumpulnya cuman sama temen proyek penelitian A, udah jarang lagi kumpul sama temen-temen yang lain. Demi masa depan yang lebih baik, tentu apa salahnya ikutan proyek bareng-bareng? Kan ikut proyek penelitian bareng justru lebih menguntungkan. Namun terkadang bagi teman yang nggak ikutan proyek penelitan bareng, rasa kangen suka tiba-tiba muncul gatau diri dalam benaknya. Kadang pula, rasa sedih juga ikutan menghampiri dikala temannya lebih sibuk dan lebih dekat dengan teman proyek penelitiannya yang lain, intensitas ketemu dan sekedar ngobrol ringan seperti dulu semakin jarang terlaksana. Dan perlahan namun pasti, dia semakin merasa tersisihkan.....

But still, teman yang tersisihkan ini hanya bisa bersyukur dan tetap berusaha suportif; terus mendoakan demi kelancaran penelitian teman-temannya, agar mereka mendapatkan hasil yang terbaik setelah kerja keras non-stop ngelab tiap harinya. Teman yang tersisihkan ini nggak mau jadi teman yang self-centered, yang justru malah menghalangi kesuksesan teman-temannya. Lagian, siapa sih yang nggak ikutan seneng dan bangga kalo teman terdekat bisa sukses? Because that's what true friends are for, they will always be happy for each others' happiness, and no matter what, they will always push you towards the great possibilities of your future.

“Best friends are formed by time.
Everyone is someone's friend, even when they think they are all alone.
If the friendship is not working, your heart will know. It's when you start being less than perfectly honest and perfectly earnest in your dealings. And it's when the things you do together no longer feel right.
However, sometimes it takes more effort to make it work after all.
Stick around long enough to become someone's best friend.” 

― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration, 2010

Truth

"What is your truth?"

Whenever someone asks her that, she would always keep her mouth shut.

Truth is something that appears like sweet piece of candy or chocolate when its outer wrapping is off.

Just like skin is needed to protect the blood and flesh underneath; 

A lie was needed in order to protect the truth.

Rather than to remain honest and reveal all her wounds; 

Pasting a bright smile on her face and lying... felt safer for her.

(이웃집 꽃미남 , 2013)

Unrequited Love

How timid and delicate unrequited love is? 
Even though unrequited love finds its own way in; 
It's a love that gets trapped inside, unable to find an exit. 
Even though I'm the one who started it;
It's a love that ends vain without it ever having a purpose,
Never ever even having had the chance to bud or bloom any flowers.
A love that can never bear fruit, like a seed left forgotten;
That is, unrequited love.

(이웃집 꽃미남 , 2013)