Happy Anniversary, Love.

define time;
the thing that is measured as seconds, minutes, hours, days and even years.
people said either time could go too slow or too swift, too long or too short,

it all depends on what we really feel in that particular time.

for example, when we feel happy, time tends to elapse faster because we enjoyed it. 

otherwise, when we have some difficulties, time goes a little slower than ever.

we can easily measure the amount of time,

but how to 'measure' time in terms of love?

when we are undoubtely in love, time becomes an unmeasureable thing; time is infinite.

it flies over us and sometimes we didn't realize, it just happened.

we've been through a lot of things together in just a year: the upside & the downside, 

and i cannot put them all into a nice paragraph.

but there is one thing i know for sure, that i feel much happier when i'm with you.

and i thank God for such comfort i've been experiencing daily since you asked me out for a lunch that day on October last year, and it brought me into a realization that i want to spend more time with you, and sure those 365 days won't be enough.

so why don't we spend more time together?

let's measure it in our own timeless ways,

let's strengthen each others in all pain & sorrow,

let's hold on to each others a little longer,

let's, just let's love with all that we had, have and will have.

happy anniversary, love.

13/12/14 - 13/12/15 ❤

A Recent Meetup.

Beberapa hari yang lalu saya bertemu dengan 'seseorang' yang sudah berbulan-bulan (atau mungkin sudah setahun ya?) tidak pernah saling bertemu. Seingat saya, kontak terakhir kami adalah sewaktu 'orang' itu mengirimkan ucapan selamat ulang tahun ke saya bulan April lalu via email (iya, beneran via email --"). Kebetulan 'orang' itu baru aja lulus kuliah dan mau wisuda. But somehow, saya sedikit ragu untuk datang dan bertemu dengan 'orang' itu. "Kenapa sih dateng ke acara wisuda aja kok ragu?". Well, bukan apa-apa sih, karena ada banyak pertimbangan yang harus dipikir matang-matang seperti:

• Pertama, kami sudah jarang (bahkan bisa dibilang tidak pernah) berkontak ria lagi.
• Kedua, banyak teman-teman terdekatnya yang datang ke acara wisuda, dan sayangnya saya juga ngga kenal dekat sama temen-temennya itu. Well, pasti bakalan awkward banget dan bakalan jadi bahan ciye-ciyean, karena...
• Ketiga, 'orang' yang mau diwisuda itu mantan pacar saya.

Nah, bingung kan? Jelas ragu kan mau datang apa nggak?

Sebenernya saya udah punya niatan mau ngucapin lewat sms, atau nitip salam ke salah satu temen saya biar nggak repot-repot dateng dan khawatir digojlokin sama temen-temennya, tapi saya tiba-tiba mikir: "Lah, dateng aja kenapa sih? Wong udah nggak ada apa-apa juga. Kan udah temenan biasa. Masa dateng dan ngasih ucapan selamat sebagai temen aja mesti mikir segitunya?". Intinya, saya cuma mau ngucapin selamat kelulusan ke 'orang' itu dengan itikad baik sebagai seorang teman. Lagian wisuda kuliah temen kan juga nggak terjadi setiap bulan atau setiap tahun, jadi apa salahnya datang langsung memberi ucapan selamat tulus? Betul, nggak? Siapa tau jadi barokah bisa ketularan cepet lulus juga *AAMIIN YA ALLAH*

Dan akhirnya, saya memutuskan untuk datang ke acara wisuda 'orang' itu setelah temen saya memberikan bujukan-bujukan maut agar saya mau datang. Fix lah, saya berangkat ke acara wisuda 'orang' itu bareng temen saya dan kebetulan juga ditebengi sama temennya.

Setelah muter-muter dan mbulet segala macem, akhirnya saya dan 'orang' itu bertemu. Saya inisiatif ngajak salaman duluan sembari ngucapin: "Selamat ya udah lulus", dan dia bilang singkat: "Makasih ya". Jujur ya, suasananya supeeeeeerrrrr awkward. Pertama, kami berdua bertemu tepat di depan HERO supermarket di sebuah mal. Kedua, temen-temennya pada ngeliatin dan ber-ehem-ehem ria. Alhasil, orang-orang yang lagi jalan di sekitar situ ikutan ngeliatin. Belum lagi ada temennya yang pake ngerekam kami berdua lagi salaman. Bayangkan, gimana awkward-nya suasana waktu itu. Even though I tried to be as calm as nothing happened, tetep aja rasanya malu gak karuan ┰┰

Sebenernya kalo boleh jujur, saya jadi agak menyesal datang ke acara wisuda 'orang' itu. Hal yang bikin saya menyesal adalah sikap beberapa temennya yang 'makes me feel a bit uneasy' dengan berbagai gojlokan dan guyonan (yang sebelumnya sudah saya khawatirkan bakalan terjadi, but unluckily it did really happen...). Karena hal itulah, saya justru merasa tidak nyaman; merasa tidak nyaman di tengah situasi yang sebenarnya sudah cukup awkward, maupun merasa tidak nyaman berada di dekat 'orang' tersebut. But it's okay, it was my own call to attend the event, and so be it! It only happened that day though, and (hopefully) I don't have to experienced those awkward moments again.

After I met him that day, I realized a thing: he didn't change much.

Yep, nothing's really change about him. I'm not talking about his looks; but his personality, his habits, the way he talks to me, even the way he handles situations, everything! There is not- even a tiny bit of difference, about those things. It's both good and unfortunate at some points. I though he would change after we haven't met each other for quite a long time. Well, maybe he also thought the same towards me too. Maybe we just never change. Maybe this is just the way we are.

Maybe because... we were like strangers who knew each other very well.

We never change, do we? No, no,
We never learned to leave.

(Coldplay - We Never Change, 2000)